Propel Yourself to New Levels

Last month, I went to a 1-day riding clinic which was pretty much a waste of time, but did end up propelling me to new levels of riding. It wasn’t that the instruction was so good, in fact, I thought it was pretty bad and I came home feeling like I knew nothing. After a few days of thinking I that I was just a horrible horse trainer, I decided that was not true and I began to increase the amount of time I worked with my horse Ranger, the way that we have been working, using a style that has been working for us.

I have to say, I was a little harder on Ranger and he rose to the challenge. I rode him in a bit, which is a piece of metal in the mouth of the horse and if used properly is not a cruel device at all. A bit is used by 99% of people who ride horses, but there are alternatives. Because Ranger had a rough start when he was a little guy, and because he was pretty mistrusting, I had often used a “bitless bridle” for Ranger, something that seemed to put him at ease.

Ranger rose to the challenge of having a bit in his mouth again, and did well dropping his head, tucking his chin, and moving all the individual body parts I asked him to. After several days of intense training (by our standards), Ranger began to plateau. He was cooperative, but it seemed like he was being pushed.

Horse Personality

I like my horses “alive” and to have personality. I like them to be safe and obedient, but to still be who they are. I let Ranger have another go at the bitless bridle and boy did he seem to appreciate it. Ranger was gentler that he had been with the bit, calmer, and had more of what cowboys call “try”.

My kids have both started to ride Ranger and have figured out that they can control him without getting hurt or hurting him. My son, 8 years-old, actually just started riding for the first time on his own and he LOVED IT! This just made me so happy because I love horses and invest a lot of time and family resources into them. To share the joy I get, with my family, would mean the world to me.

Lessons Learned

So here is what I learned this summer and how it can be applied to any situation in life. There will be times where some well-meaning soul will try and teach you something and tell you you’re doing it all wrong. Take what you can from these people, but never stop trusting in yourself and using what works for you. It is important to get outside advice, but I know from life coaching that as coaches we are not supposed tell someone how to do something, but rather help them on a journey of self-exploration. Look inward to judge yourself and see if you can do it better, but believe in yourself and trust in your talents.

Next, look to your team for feedback and make sure you are taking care of them the way they want to be taken care of. Sometimes there are external pressures for how you should treat your team, what they should be allowed and what kind of benefits they should get. However, if you want to really invest in your team, take care of them they by asking them what they need. A team member will tell you how they like to work. If you make a working environment a pleasurable place to work and build a trusting relationship, you will get a 100% return on your investment.

So there it is, a little tip from a Fall Northwoods horse training session. Trust in your ability and take care of your team. Next thing you know, you will be the kind of leader you have always wanted to be.

Keep leading,
Rad

As a social creatures, humans are predisposed to look to others in their social circle and try to be like them. This phenomena can be very helpful if you surround yourself with positive role models that help you strive to be a better person, but it can be very limiting too. You must be careful as you strive to become a better person that you don’t limit yourself by trying to do things exactly like those around you. You must go about things in your own way, so that you can be the best you possible.

Lessons from Movie Night at Home

The other night, I watched Kung Fu Panda 3, which I have to say was just as good as the first movie (rare for sequels). Without giving anything away, I can say that it had some focus, just as the other Kung Fu Panda movies, on developing talents not as those around you develop theirs, but rather to be the best individual possible. To be unique, and use one’s strengths.

It is funny that the Animal Leadership System has so much to do with Kung Fu Panda, but that is what we teach. I firmly believe that you are a unique individual, and if you learn how to be the best you, you can be,  you will be much more effective than if you try to live life as someone else.

A Personal Story

For me personally, this lesson was thrust upon me because of my learning disability. I still have trouble with that term, because I am not sure that disability is the correct descriptor. One of the ways such a difference in learning styles (the disability) is diagnosed is that the student does not perform as well as other students in some areas, yet is as bright if not brighter, than their peers in many ways. In my case, reading and spelling were very hard to learn, yet my IQ was in the 97^th percentile.

Anyway, I could never, and still can’t do everything that my peers do, but I can do many things my peers can’t do. When I stopped trying to do the same things at the same times as all my peers and focused on what came natural to me, I started to thrive.

Working as the Chairman of two Charter Schools (ones within the public school system, not ones that direct public funds outside public institutions) I still see this with students. Many Special Ed students gravitate to our charter schools because they feel there is more freedom to learn in a way that is conducive to their individual strengths. Traditionally, students are taught to all learn the same thing, at the same pace, as they sit on the same piece of furniture, assuming the same posture…and if they don’t perform the same, they are failures or have a disability. People are individuals and MUST play to their strengths!

Applying Lessons to Your Life

I think about the horses I work with. Some are hard to get to move. Some are hard to get to stand still. Both traits are really handy depending on what you are doing. I could never take five horses, throw them in a round pen, and teach them with the same style at the same time. They have individual strengths and as a good trainer I’m sensitive to that and try to coax them out.

So, how about you? Are you trying to perform in the same manner as those around you? Do you give yourself a hard time when your unique strengths start to show themselves? Do you try to foster your strengths so that you can be the best uniquely you, you can be?

It is so important that you begin to live in your own skin and develop the you, which only you can be. We need you in this world because there is only one and we have been waiting for your talents. Your greatness is something that only you can bring to the table. When it comes to being an individual, love it and live it so you can best serve those around you.

Keep leading,
Rad

The key here, is that because people are different, they look for different things when they communicate. It is easy to assume everyone is just like us, but they are not.

I am sure by now you have taken the Animal Leadership personality test and found out whether you are a bear, wolf, eagle, or horse (If not, go take the test here). Each one of these personality types has things they are looking for when communicated with, and if you give them information in the way they like it fed to them, they will be more receptive to your message.

Many people don’t know that I do a fair bit of real estate sales when I am not giving Animal Leadership talks (or playing with my horses). Where I live, selling real estate can mean anything from small, year-round homes, to large tracks of forest land, to extravagant lakefront summer homes. Although sales is not natural for a guy who spent years as a grassroots conservationist, I love it because I am out and about working at my own schedule, and actually spend more time outside than I did in my last few conservation-related jobs. I also love it because I can approach it not as a salesman, but as a provider of information, and more of a consultant on anything related to the potential purchase. The way I provide this information is key to whether or not people will feel secure enough to purchase a property. It is the perfect testing ground for all things related to Animal Leadership.

Using the Wrong Bait?

Here is some of what I have learned about communicating effectively with all different kinds of people. First off, once someone is really comfortable with who they are, they are not going out of their way to prove themselves or impress you. These people, really great people to be around, are going to expect to hear things in a way that makes sense to them. It is almost like fishing, where if you have the wrong bait, some fish just won’t bite.

The Bear Personality

So, when you are dealing with someone who might be a bear person, you are going to want to be direct. Don’t beat around the bush or try to sugar coat things. Don’t waste time or try to be too persuasive. Let a bear person know the facts and listen to their opinion. Keep things in the moment and on topic. These people are all about business, so let them know you are too, or at least when you are trying to connect with them.

The Wolf Personality

Wolf people love the fun and what is possible. They want things upbeat. They will tell stories and like to be told stories as well. Keep things fun and light and provide information in an optimistic way. Being too abrupt or negative could scare them off.

The Eagle Personality

Eagle people like lots of details about things. They don’t make decisions lightly and need to spend some time taking it all in before they are ready to swoop down and grab their fish. For eagle people, you must not push them and make sure you do anything you can to help them understand the whole situation. Often, they will not move on until they feel confident that captured it all and haven’t missed anything.

The Horse Personality

Horse people are social people who like to talk about social things. They will put their necks out for friends, but will run if they think you have bad intentions. Let them know you care. They are not afraid of a job or having some work to do, but it should be specific and direct. The most common personality type is the horse.

Be Yourself

So the reason I mention all this is it is important to be yourself, and you will naturally gravitate to others like you. However, you can be so much more effective as a person if you help others be who they are and know how to communicate with them. Be a leader, know who you are and help others be who they are. Learn these few simple techniques and watch how it will help you make friends, communicate, and even increase sales if that is something you’re after. Live in your skin and let others live in theirs. Communicate effectively and feed others information the way they like it.

‘Till next time, keep leading,
Rad

This last Sunday, tragedy struck the Watkins house. I had borrowed a friend’s skid steer to get some work done around the barn. It was a great deal of work and I was at it for hours, from Friday night through most of the beautiful 85° weekend. By Sunday afternoon, I was running out of time and had a ways to go. By the time 3:30p rolled around, I could see the end was in site.

Just after that, I tipped the Skid steer forward while throwing a bucket of sand over the horse gate. Tipping the machine forward was not a big deal but smashing the gate was. Now, I had to jerry rig the gate to make it look like it was still working so the horses would not escape. I did that and decided to change my work priority. I threw a bale of hay in the bucket and headed for the far pasture, leaving the other gate open as I went through.

My horses pretty much will come running over if they see a whole bale of hay presented, regardless of the state of the gate, that is, except for Scarlet. Scarlet (A Pretty Te) is my 12 year old Quarter Horse. She is impeccably bred with world champs in her bloodline.  She is also the easiest to handle horse I have ever been around. Because of that, we breed her to a Seven-Time World and Reserve World Champion Buckskin Quarter Horse, Klassy Celebri Te, a beautiful and well-behaved stallion.

Well, Scarlet was the first horse to see the hay and she slowly started making her way across the field. I took the skid steer back towards the gate and saw the Scarlet doubled back around me and she too was heading for the gate. While pregnant the last 10 months, Scarlet has been let out of the paddock freely and eats her special meals at the barn. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised she was heading that direction.

I jumped off the machine and headed for the gate to scare her away. Scarlet did turn back, but then ducked into the horse loafing shed. The shed has two doors, one on either end, and one of those opens directly to the gate. The gate was open to the inside. I had just placed a bunch of sand in front of the gate so it was not swinging freely. In the shed Scarlet was making her way to the open gate where I could not get to her to scare her back. I lifted the gate and pushed hard to get it to close. Scarlet saw the gate closing and decided to make a break for it. She was only 6 feet away as the gate was closing and Quarter Horses are the fastest accelerating horses in the world, and with Scarlets huge, muscular hips she’s probably right up there. In a blink of an eye she went full speed into the closing gate and the little 3-inch nubbin of steel that connects with the latch harpooned her in the side and dug in. As she went through the narrow opening the latch dug into the muscle, plowing out a channel as her skin tore and peeled back along her ribs.

It happened so fast and then it was over. She was perfectly calm on the outside of the paddock as she stood there with her side ripped open. I could not believe what I had just done. I could have just let her go through the gate and grabbed a rope and brought her back in. In 15 years of having horses I have never gotten one hurt to this degree (only two other injuries ever). Now I had just slammed a gate on the most beautiful horse I have ever owned and literally ripped her side open. I honestly could not bear to look at it.

I quickly called the vet, Dr. Graper, and there was a little more excitement as I tried to keep Scarlet from rolling in the loose sand, a favorite horse activity, and at the same time keep the other horses from leaving through the jerry-rigged gate. Bottom line was, the vet was working on another emergency and he would not be over for about an hour and a half. The only thing he told me over the phone was that he probably could not stitch it up and to keep water on it. I was the only one home and my job was to keep a hose of cold water running over the wound.

I walked Scarlet up to the house, still pretty much unable to look at it. She acted like nothing was wrong at all even though there were strips of muscle hanging off her side. My cell phone was just about dead so all I could do for an hour and half was watch the water run over the wound, talk to Scarlet, and think.

I must have apologized to Scarlet 500 times. I felt SO bad. I also felt helpless and fragile. I am a do-it-yourselfer to a fault, mostly because I hate to be powerless, hate to know there is nothing I can do to better my situation, but this was beyond me.

Scarlet was a champ, but my sorrow was pretty overwhelming. I do not enjoy the anatomy of real-life gore and I honestly could only glance at this disaster for a second or two before I had to look away. Plus it made me feel worse about what had happened. Typical stuff was going through my head like “If only I hadn’t…” I knew I had to change my attitude so I worked on the one guaranteed method for that, feeling grateful.

I started giving thanks that this probably would not kill my horse. I gave thanks that this was only my horse, and not one of my loved ones, especially not my kids. I gave thanks that I have been so blessed not to have seen much suffering in my life. I gave thanks for the wonderful, plain old day I was living in, rather than a war-torn existence so many people have to deal with (where, injuries that look like this are happening to people all the time). I gave thanks for my family, my friends, and my wonderful wife. I gave thanks for everything I could think of and I grew stronger.

As I adjusted, I did become accustomed to looking at the wound. I did think about how fragile life is and how quickly things can change. I thought about how careful we must be and how stupid things like texting and driving are. I mean, that is really stupid! You see people traveling 75 miles an hour and texting. Do you know how quickly things can change at 75 miles an hour? Way faster than me closing a gate to the pasture. Anyway, life is fragile and we often take that for granted.

Dr. Graper showed up and the first words out of my mouth before hello were “thank you.” It turned out he did think he could stitch her up and I was thrilled about that. My family came home just after Dr. Graper arrived, and I was thankful for that too. My little daughter Lena who considers Scarlet her horse, burst into tears at the site on the wound. Lena stood there and watched as the doctor cut out shredded muscle that stood no chance of healing. The vet slid a drainage tube behind a pocket of 2 inch muscle and then sewed around that. By the end Scarlet, who stood quietly through the procedure, looked pretty good. That vet visit was the best $500 I have ever spent.

So this is not the blog I intended to bring you this week. None of this was intended. But I think it’s important to share a story like this, that life is not all sunshine and rainbows. We have an extra couple of hours of care to provide a day, but we are lucky. Oh yeah, and the foal should be fine as well! We saw it kicking before the doctor left.

I guess in some ways this was a good thing. If there is a lesson here it is to please be careful; things can happen very quickly. I guess also, that the power of gratitude is really life changing, so practice it when you can and certainly when you need to. As the Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir has said, “this is a song about tragedy narrowly averted.” May you all be so lucky.

Keep leading,
Rad